This handy guide will walk you through setting up the PSVR2 the way I did it. It is reflective of my experience only, but may be useful to a wider audience.

(And yes, this is really what happened.)

Getting started:

1. Open the PSVR2 outer packaging.
2. Attempt to open the inner packaging.
3. Try to carefully remove the inner packaging from the outer packaging.
4. Carefully upturn the packaging to slide the outer packaging from the inner packaging.
5. Collect all items from the floor and inspect for damage.
6. Place the headset, controllers, and earbuds aside and read the instructions.
7. Per the instructions, attach the headset cable to the USB-C port on the front of the PS5.
8. Per the instructions, fumble around the PS5 until you figure out what the power button is.
9. The PS5 will detect the PSVR2 and begin setup.
10. Turn on the standard controller to continue. Nothing tells you to do this, but it expects you to press X to continue and that’s the only way of doing it.
11. Continue on and plug the right VR controller into the PS5 using the provided cable.
12. Once recognized, press the PS button as instructed.
13. Press it again.
14. Hold it down for a second.
15. Hold it down for 5 seconds.
16. Use your thumbnail to try to figure out where the pivot point indicates the switch is.
17. Press it down where that happens to be.
18. Press it down REALLY HARD.
19. Just start messing with it, seriously.
20. Consider your life choices.
21. Try to press it as normally as you possibly can.
22. Try one last time to channel the most normal person you can imagine for the most casual press a normal person can muster.
23. Thank God that somehow worked and unplug the right controller.
24. Using the same cable, plug in the left controller.
25. Press the PS button.
26. Press it again.
27. Review the message that says the battery level is too low to connect the controller.
28. Using the standard controller, press X.
29. Review the message that says the battery level is too low to connect the controller.
30. Using the standard controller, press X.
31. Review the message that says the battery level is too low to connect the controller.
32. Press the PS button on the left VR controller.
33. Start desperately mashing it.
34. Start mashing O on the standard controller instead.
35. Confirm that you really want to abort PSVR2 setup and review the message that tells you it can be resumed in the settings.
36. Put the PS5 into Rest Mode and plug in both VR controllers to charge.
37. (Optional) Kvetch online.
38. (Optional) Go to Newegg and buy a charging stand of your choice.

Session 2:

1. Turn on the PS5 with the PSVR2 already plugged in and the VR controllers unplugged.
2. Go into the menus as directed to continue setup.
3. Desperately try everywhere you can possibly think of to find it.
4. Turn on the PSVR2.
5. Return to the home screen and let the PS5 take pity on you by fielding resuming the setup.
6. Plug in the right VR controller.
7. Wait for a prompt.
8. Wait an uncomfortably long time.
   8.5. (Optional) Sigh.
9. Press O to abort setup.
10. Press the PS button as instructed on the left VR controller to update the firmware.
11. Wait for the left VR controller (which you never got connected according to the setup) to wirelessly update.
    11.5. (Optional) Question life, the universe, and everything.
12. Press the PS button as instructed on the right VR controller to update the firmware.
13. Wait for the right VR controller to wirelessly update.
14. Wait 5 very long seconds while the PS5 makes a bunch of concerning system navigation sounds without actually doing anything.
15. Continue following on-screen instructions for setup until you get to defining the room.
16. Realize the floor is better than an inch off.
17. Select the option to do it yourself.
18. Adjust the setting to your actual height.
19. Marvel at how perfectly flush the virtual floor is with the actual floor.
20. Just muddle through the rest as the video lag starts to make you nauseous. Don’t worry, you won’t remember what it actually has you do, but it’s basically foolproof, even kinda fun.
21. (Optional) Turn everything off.
22. (Optional) Find something to settle your stomach.