Normally, I wouldn’t do a food review, but as an American, I decided to do it for reasearch purposes. It started with an article and continued with a novelization of the original Final Fantasy I can’t talk about here, but I decided I needed to put my money where my mouth is and take the plunge. So I ordered a 4oz. jar from Wal-Mart because that was the only place I could find it.

My initial reaction below:

It was after that that I started experimenting further, because the initial issue I had was, despite trying to spread it thin over toast and cut it with butter, there’s just no reasonable way to spread it "thin" if you do it before the butter. But even despite that, I found a strange allure to the stuff.

Now, I am a weirdo. There is no denying this. I am the only person I know who appreciates bitter food, from burnt popcorn to coffee to bitter beef laab (which I understand is more popular with the older crowd, where the young and hip folks prefer it sour), I just have a higher tolerance for bitter flavors than basically anyone around me. I will say I don’t actually like beer, or any other alcohol for that matter that isn’t literally a dessert wine like Angelica (popular for religious purposes in part because it originated at a monestary), but it seems removing the alcohol from the equation makes for a marked improvement. Beer may never suit me as a beverage, but it makes for excellent bratwurst and I seem to be able to make it work with Marmite.

I found better success with buttering the toast first and then putting Marmite over that by using the tines of a plastic fork to trail threads of it over the top, allowing the butter to fill in every nook and cranny in the toast rather than the Marmite. From there, I decided to perfect my technique by trailing some threads over a bit of cream cheese, because yes, I live in Wisconsin and we just plain eat cheese plain here, even if it is one of the few kinds to come from out of state (seriously, after trying Kroger brand and finding they did everything wrong short of putting the wrapper inside the cheese, I will never not get Philadelphia). And, I really do have to say this, that little bit of Marmite on the cream cheese really makes it pop!

From there I decided to get a little bolder with how much I use on toast, because I use a LOT of butter on toast on a good day and understanding how much I can mix up with this stuff on the toast itself, well, let’s just say I’m being a lot less careful about it and am managing just fine.

I feel like I could start experimenting with it in Bagel Adventures, which is a thing I haven’t done in a while if only because I haven’t eaten bagels in a while, only I’m not sure there’s much I’d combine with it to make an improvement. Marmite and cream cheese is a two-ingredient wonder, and Marmite already has onion and other flavors in it. There’s only so much you can add to a mixture.

Anyway, at this point I like it enough to experiment with it using other things (DO NOT try mixing it in cottage cheese; it does not benefit, at all), and I’ve gotten a ton more of it because I’ve frankly just blown through that initial small jar. I won’t say it’s my favorite food, or even my favorite seasoning, but for the moment at least it has become my favorite condiment and I have learned how to use it (on buttered toast and cream cheese) without fear.

If I absolutely had to rate it, I’d say it has my coppery flavor seal of "OMG, use responsibly, but when it works, it WORKS!"